The Video

Watching the video of myself teach was one of the most painful experiences ever. As I watched myself talk about comparative and superlative modifiers with my class I felt a level of angst that compares to few others. For the first few minutes I kept asking myself questions about the spectacle that was unfolding in front of me.

Who was that guy pacing as he was talking about an overhead?

Who was that guy doing random arm motions as he spoke?

Who was that guy who used the words "like" and "ummm" way, way too often?

Who was that guy who used the word "rationale" without even thinking about it?

Who was that nerdy guy who was apologizing to the class for something they probably never noticed?

Could it be me? The moment it hit home was the second time I walked in front of the overhead in a nervous pace and then apologized, lost my train of thought, and took what seemed like an eternity to recover. I was waiting for the moment everyone in the room realized how badly I was doing. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

After 20 minutes of me ripping my teaching apart something happened. My kids were able to tell me what comparatives and superlatives were. They were giving me examples of the rules and what to do with them. I turned off the overhead projector, walked over to the board, and started making up examples. I was going by instinct for the first time that day. My speech slowed down and I was in control of the room.

I looked like a teacher.

I started getting teary-eyed. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen.

Now all I have to do is go from 30 minutes of solid teaching to 90 minutes by the fall. Can it be done? I certainly hope so.