First Week of Summer School

So, I have taught two classes of eighth grade English. It was the first time ever I had stood in front of a group of kids (a whopping six in my class) and attempted to teach them something. I am pretty sure it showed. The first lesson was well planned but I was too nervous to deliver it properly. The second class had a far less engaging lesson plan (as I had them writing for most of the class) but I was better able to deliver it. Despite the weaknesses I was able to keep control of the class during both lessons and get the students to accomplish all the objectives I set out. When looking back I still mostly focus on the weaknesses but I think there were some good things in there. Considering I had never taught a class before, I think I could be doing significantly worse.

There are many things about this summer school teaching that eat me up. I feel a little bad that I am using them to learn how to teach. I feel a little bit bad about the whole summer school thing in general. Group teaching must suck for my students. No one teacher in my group is in charge of the curriculum and I worry that my students are getting a muddled message delivered in six different ways. Even if we were on the same page all the time it our personalities and teaching styles are so different that it would seem to muddle the effectiveness of the overall class. My teaching style in particular is outside the prevailing norm of my group. To me, this seems to be a very ineffective way of teaching.

I worry that I am expecting too much from my students. On my second lesson I clearly went over their heads with not only the vocabulary/terminology I was using but also in the work I want to see from them. I am asking them to do work based on the eighth grade standards when I am skeptical they have even made it to the sixth grade standard. I am not sure if I should just keep going on, explaining the content and my expectations better but sticking to my overall plan since my objectives are being achieved, or if I should just throw the whole thing out, dumb down my future lessons, and make it easier for them. My decision would be significantly easier if I was not being told multiple things from both first and second year teachers.

These kids are not meeting a single state standard for their grade level. Two of my students are 16 years old and still in eighth grade. Yet I am getting conflicting messages, half of which stun me. Are people honestly telling me that the first priority is to make sure the students aren't bored? The idea being that the only way that I can keep these kids interested in school is to be constantly interesting. Are people telling me that being able to read and write well, to be able to understand and express should not be the main focus at this point? SERIOUSLY? To me, the first priority is getting them to the standard, no matter how painful it might be for everyone involved. I know it is impossible to get there in four (now three) weeks but it still should be attempted.

I don't know why I care so much whether or not all my students are being engaged every single moment of my class. I don't think any of my teachers really cared all that much about my interest level as long as I did the work and did well on it, that whole learning thing. School was almost never fun for me. I did it because I had to, because I was expected to. I believe that if you set a high standard, students will tend rise up to it. If they accomplish it, they will feel better about themselves. If they feel better about themselves, maybe they will stick it out and finish their formal educations.

Optimally I would be able to maintain my high standards/expectations and accomplish the arduous task of teaching them grade level objectives with amazing and engaging lessons. I am hoping the lesson plans I write for next week will be much better in pursuit of these dual goals.

OK, enough ranting for me. I will probably end up changing my mind on half of these points by the end of the week.