Now that I am almost through the third term I find myself wondering what I am going to do next year. I am going to stay in MTC. I am 95% sure of that. I am an acceptable to good teacher and I am getting better at it as I learn new things. I like the environment, the children, and the ability to connect with people that I otherwise would have never encountered. Yet I find myself weighed down with a lot concern about my next course of action.
The question I constantly ask myself is whether I am going to stay at my school or take a stab getting a teaching position elsewhere. I am getting tired of not being treated like a professional by my administration. I am tired of being criticized in front of other teachers for doing things I was told to do. I am tired of having my planning periods taken away by dumb meetings and professional development that now takes even some of my Saturdays away from me. I am tired of being talked to like I am a child. I am tired of being told that I am a bad classroom manager for sending loud and disruptive children out of my room so that I can teach the others. I am tired of being suffocated in bureaucracy and witnessing the massive misallocation of resources that happens in my district.
Most importantly I am tired of being treated like I am not important. I get the impression that I am replaceable and perhaps will be replaced. That feeling sucks.
The only thing that keeps me where I am are the children. I love them to death, even the ones that play with my last nerve. At least they have an excuse for being messed up. I know that my students need me more than those kids in the suburbs. They have never met a teacher like me and I don't think some of them ever will.
I don't want them to think I walked away from them because the going got hard. That is not the lesson I want to teach them.
The point is that I am seriously thinking about going to a place where even one of those aforementioned factors are improved. I just want to be respected.
I can't decide what to do.
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